Final Take Away

When I was picking classes for fall last spring I came to a crossroad about what class to take for my elective. On one hand I had a drawing class at Herron, something that I love doing, and on the other hand, I had this strange class that had no real definition. Many of my friends and class mates that had taken it talked very highly of it and said it was a great class if you didn't want anything too heavy (some even said it was a good class to "blow off" but I won't say who) so I decided to take a shot and go for the crazy class. I already knew how to draw anyway.

The first few weeks of the class were some what normal to say the least. I have taken courses in high school with teachers that have preached unique outlooks on creativity so it is not something new to me. What really impressed me about the class wasn't the idea of trying to look at different things in a new perspective, but how the class would become engaged in discussion. Students would speak their mind whenever they felt. Seeing how the class opened up and was willing to help one another was a great experience. I learned that seeing creativity through the eyes of others is the answer to "learning creativity".

Taking this course turned out to be a great idea. If I had the chance to take it again you can bet that I would. Not only did it prove to be a decent distraction from my school work (portfolios, projects, exams, all of that fun stuff) but I also learned a decent amount about myself and others. I don't think you can ask for much for than that. I would strongly recommend taking this class.

Life and Death

All of the fear projects presented had their own special flavor about them, their own bit that made them unique. Among all of the projects, one stood out to me in particular was the short film about death. Not only was the film interesting, but it also got the class into a heavy discussion about death and its implications. Looking back, I actually think that his presentation, discussion and all, was the longest out of all four days. Picking this fear assignment was a no-brainer.

The video itself was probably the main reason for the lengthy conversation the ensued. Images shown during the short film were of rotting corpses, gravestones, and skulls. The entire film was black and white and had eerie music to accompany it. These images produced strong emotions throughout the class room. For me personally, it made me think of the frailty of anything that lives. I did not see it as something negative rather, it was a reminder of what happens to everything that is.

I do not believe that it affected my creativity other than helping reinforce my current beliefs. I think that I have a fairly healthy outlook on death, so it is not something that I dwell on. It did give me some cool ideas for some zombie creature designs however.

The Final Countdown

Here we are. The final project. This semester has been... interesting to say the least. With this being my second to last semester in college (hopefully), the second half of 2014 was important for me. Taking this class was exactly what I needed.

For my final "Altered Self" book project, I converted my math textbook into a sketch book. Since I did not actually have an old math textbook and did not want to spend a couple hundred on a new one, I used a copy of the Great Gatsby, another book I am not too fond of. Drawing over the pages was a great relief for me. Doodling/sketching was something that I used to do constantly in high school and was almost always reprimanded and told that it was an unproductive waste of time. This project is essentially my revenge to all those who told me I was wasting my time.

Since I am in the middle of trying to graduate, most of my classes are fairly high level and very project intensive. This class, and by extension my altered book, helped to serve as a sort of healing time for me. Whenever I was feeling overwhelmed over the course of the semester, I would just open my book and begin drawing. Most of my drawings in the book are closer to doodles since I wasn't trying too hard and just wanted to clear my head, but they have the same amount of importance to me.

During the course of Seeing Sideways we were tasked with keeping a journal of sorts in the form of class takeaways. The due date for the takeaways was always the next day at 11:59pm. Now you would think that with a consistent due date I would have no trouble turning in the assignment. Wrong. I encountered the same problem that I had when taking my online writing course: out of sight, out of mind. Once I leave the class room my mind, for the most part, checks out of Seeing Sideways and I go back to focusing on the projects that "matter" or the projects that will hopefully. get me a job. For the first 4 weeks of Seeing Sideways I missed every class takeaway. It was at this point that I decided to do something productive and stop them from being a negative influence in my life. I then did something radical.

I told my self I was not going to do a single class takeaway.

The burden was lifted but not fully. I was still terrified of getting a failing grade for pulling this little stunt and if I got a failing grade that means that I would not get the credit and if I didn't get the credit then I would not graduate and if I didn't graduate... well I saw my self as a failure. I decided to speak with Beth about my little idea just so I would feel secure in my idea. After speaking with her I was a little surprised that see was on board. She seemed all for something that would help me instead of hinder me.

Shocked, and with the burden now completely lifted, I began to work on my version of the class takeaways. After each class or sometimes during class, I would write a sentence or 2 about the class and the surround it in doodles. The process served as a time to heal and empty my mind. After working on the first one I decided re make it and start doing my "takeaways" inside my altered book! What was created turned out fantastic as my entire Seeing Sideways journey is represented in my altered book now. I did the doodles and writing in sharpie so it's as if my entire book bleeds together to form a cohesive experience.

I have included a few screenshots from my book below.

The Only Thing to Fear

A big fear of mine at the moment is getting a successful job in my field. I know there are many definitions of the word “success” out there, but I just want a decent paying job where I can work on developing games. My ultimate goal is to become a game designer but I understand that most people don’t get that position at the onset of their career.

This is where my fear comes in.

I am not too worried about if I will get a job developing games in one form or another, I am just afraid of when. The fear takes hold and keeps me thinking about my future. Will I work a job that I hate for five or even ten years before I get a break? I am afraid that even if I do get a job I might not be able to make a living off of just that.

There is no certainty in the future and this is something that I am struggling to accept. My entire life I have had decisions made for me and a definite path laid out. Even when it came to college my choices were to either go to college or move out and be cut off from any aid. I am glad that I chose to go to college but it was still a forced choice that I had no real say in.

When it comes to this anxiety of the future I am at somewhat of a loss. I feel as though my only choice is to keep moving forward and always put my best foot forward and all that. Staying positive is the only weapon I have to combat this fear. It will happen eventually, the question is when and how.

1. Is the fear you identified for this project a fear, phobia, anxiety, or worry?

Anxiety

2. In what ways do you notice fear in your life?

In my school life

3. What does fear keep you from experiencing?

Confidence about my future

4. What is the use of fear in your life? 

Fear is a mental block that is preventing me from making confident decisions

5. How does fear affect your life, especially in terms of creativity?

Sometimes I don’t feel like working if my anxiety is high enough

6. What form does your fear take?

Laziness and escape

7. How does making a creative project about your fear impact how you view it?

It makes me think of it as trivial

For the creative part of the exercise I decided to let go of my fear and just do something that I enjoyed. I ended up making a painting of a landscape in Photoshop. 

Here is the result:

Total Bliss

Obstacles

1. Time

2. Money

3. Skill

4. One Try

5. Artist Block

What Ifs...

1. What if I used my lack of skill to illustrate the learning process?

2. What if I used any mistakes to my advantage and layered them with the better version?

3. What if I did the book very slowly over time instead of large chunks?

The Sight of Taste

For this exercise the class was tasked with tasting a brand new food that we had never tasted before. I had a hard time thinking of a food or dish that I had never eaten or tasted. I thought about finding some restaurant downtown that served Indian or Middle Eastern food but did not want to spend the money. I then wondered if I could make one of the dishes myself and ran into a similar problem. Along with seriously doubting my cooking skills for a foreign food that I had never cooked, or even tasted, before.

I lucked out when I came home from work today to find that my mom had made a new dessert that I had never tried before; pumpkin and apple bread pudding. Since it is fall she decided to make a dessert that reflected the time of year. I had never tried bread pudding before so I was fairly eager to give it a try, especially after smelling it.

The dessert tasted almost as good as it smelled. It was sweet and had a strong cinnamon flavor. The pumpkin and apple spices really helped me to get into the fall season. The overwhelming taste that I had while eating the bread pudding was of a spicy sweetness. My entire family loved it as well.

Here is my visual representation of what I tasted.

more, More, MORE!!

Coming up with an idea for this project took a little longer than the others. At first I just thought of doing a lot of something and then documenting what I did. I couldn't think of something that would be fun to do so I abandoned that idea. I started brainstorming about the word "more" and how it could be used differently but eventually got bored and gave up on that as well. My final idea was to take one of my old completed pieces and do something more to it. This is what I came up with.

This is the first iteration of what I did to the original.The original piece was a contour drawing of an old, rusted metal coil. I wanted to make the picture seem somewhat dirty and rust colored, so I settled with this color scheme.

For this version I simply inverted the color scheme from the original version and enhanced the color contrast a little bit. I liked the neon effect that the coil had so I decided to include it.

Original