A big fear of mine at the moment is
getting a successful job in my field. I know there are many definitions of the
word “success” out there, but I just want a decent paying job where I can work
on developing games. My ultimate goal is to become a game designer but I
understand that most people don’t get that position at the onset of their
career.
This is where my fear comes in.
I am not too worried about if I will
get a job developing games in one form or another, I am just afraid of when.
The fear takes hold and keeps me thinking about my future. Will I work a job
that I hate for five or even ten years before I get a break? I am afraid that
even if I do get a job I might not be able to make a living off of just that.
There is no certainty in the future
and this is something that I am struggling to accept. My entire life I have had
decisions made for me and a definite path laid out. Even when it came to
college my choices were to either go to college or move out and be cut off from
any aid. I am glad that I chose to go to college but it was still a forced
choice that I had no real say in.
When it comes to this anxiety of the
future I am at somewhat of a loss. I feel as though my only choice is to keep
moving forward and always put my best foot forward and all that. Staying
positive is the only weapon I have to combat this fear. It will happen
eventually, the question is when and how.
- Is the fear you identified for this project a fear, phobia, anxiety, or worry?
Anxiety
- In what ways do you notice fear in your life?
In my school
life
- What does fear keep you from experiencing?
Confidence
about my future
- What is the use of fear in your life?
Fear is a
mental block that is preventing me from making confident decisions
- How does fear affect your life, especially in terms of creativity?
Sometimes I
don’t feel like working if my anxiety is high enough
- What form does your fear take?
Laziness and
escape
- How does making a creative project about your fear impact how you view it?
It makes me think of it
as trivial
For the creative part of the exercise I decided to let
go of my fear and just do something that I enjoyed. I ended up making a
painting of a landscape in Photoshop.
Here is the result:
